11:37 EST, 8:37 PST, 4:37 GMT
Damn it to hell, Rookie, I can’t believe my beloved Grand Prairie Airhogs have gone and signed Kieran Mattison.
Sure, the big right-hander struck out 55 in 35 innings last year for the Lewisville Lizards. But if he was so fucking great, how come that team folded?
Shit. I thought everyone understood that this guy’s a one-pitch pitcher.
Pity poor Pete Incaviglia. At least he’ll have a convenient scapegoat when the whole shithouse goes up in flames in the blazing August heat in the Metroplex of Hell.