The Bowl Cartel Syndicate is a travesty of a mockery of a rational system to determine an NCAA football national champion, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t love it.
With Ohio State and LSU facing off in New Orleans tonight for the BCS title, now is not the time to decry the system’s obvious inequities. Sure, it’s hopelessly corrupt and irrational, but it’s the best we’ve got. And in accordance with my New Year’s Resolution to stop being so darn negative and take a shot at accentuating the positive, here’s a few reasons to celebrate the big game:
- It’s a better use of the Louisiana Superdome than turning it into an insane asylum for terrorized flood victims.
- FEMA will play no role in the game’s outcome.
- It will provide balm to a nation reeling with grief over the tragic fate of the Spears family.
- Gives rise to the joke: How many high-paid writers does it take to put together a snoozer of a live blog on ESPN.com?
- All seats are under a roof in case inclement weather strikes.
- As sporting spectacles go, it’s way more humane than dogfighting.
- Lower Ninth Ward not visible from Superdome or Bourbon Street.
- No millionaire baseball stars making transparent denials of steroid use.
- Perfect opportunity for enterprising TV journalist to do a personal-interest feature on Toledo Correctional Institution inmate No. A529720, Maurice Edward Clarett.
- It’s easy, and a lot less painful than trying to understand just what the hell James Joyce was talking about in Ulysses.
- It beats the heck out of prison rape.
- It promises to be more competitive than a Top 25 women’s college basketball game.
- More fun than watching Hillary Clinton impersonate a human being. .
- Osama bin Laden hates LSU and Ohio State.
- Preservation Hall Jazz Band and guest vocalist Clint Maedgen will perform the national anthem, which beats the hell out of Carl Lewis.
- Post-Katrina New Orleans still beats Darfur as a destination spot.
- Fox offers up sexy broadcast duo of Thom Brennaman and Charles Davis.
- Jessica Simpson has no reason to be there – unless she’s sneaking around with Les Miles.
- We won’t have to endure any more BSC nonsense until autumn.
No innocent children are likely to become senseless victims of collateral damage.