Seahawks deny spitball allegations

One misfortune, that might happen …
Two separate-but-eerily similar misfortunes, that’ll never happen.
The hell you say?
No, Brian Leonard hasn’t just killed Gus Frerotte. But he’s thinking back to his freshman criminal justice class at Rutgers and trying to remember possible grounds for justifiable homicide.
Frerotte pulls a Tony Romo on 4th-and-goal from the 1, and the Seahawks slip away with another undeserved victory.
Not so fast, says federal investigator Jay Novitzky, who’s looking into allegations of foul play.
Rumors, suggestions and innuendo? Maybe. Novitzky’s J. Edgar Hooveresque nose for illicit garbage reportedly has turned up traces of a slippery substance, reported to be a blend of 75 percent rendered pork fat and 25 percent flaxseed oil, on a discolored jockstrap in a Dumpster frequented by Seahawks sideline lackey Burleigh Grimes. This squirrely looking character>>>> burleigh.jpg
“This is nothing but inflammatory, irresponsible and baseless innuendo,” said Seahawks spokesman Gary Wright. “And on top of that, there is no truth, none whatsover, in these charges. What’s more, suggestions that the Seahawks in any way have engaged in the practice of doctoring game balls are just flat-out lies.”
The lack of substantive proof, however, shouldn’t necessarily kill the growing momentum these ugly yet juicy allegations have gathered.
“Evidentiary proof is one thing,” said a federal investigator who spoke on the condition of anonymity. “What you feel in your gut is another thing entirely. And that tells me these bastards are guilty.”
Stay tuned.


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